I can still remember sitting down with my then-boyfriend, now-fiancé, and having the relationship money talk. It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t exciting, but it was 100% necessary. It was before we moved in together and were trying to start a life as a couple—which is hard to do without talking budget. Like most relationships, it was inevitable.
Once you reach a certain point in a relationship, the topic of money is bound to come up. Whether you’re planning to move in together or are talking about your future, it’s helpful to work for a common ground when it comes to finances. All couples are different, but here are general points to cover:
Debt is tricky because it can be embarrassing to admit—whether it’s from shopping or student loans. If you have it, rip off the band-aid and come clean (as your SO should do, too). What’s important when talking about this, is to remember not to judge one another. No one is perfect! You can’t start watching every penny your partner spends—but you can talk about how to conquer the debt. Will the non-debt person help the other? How much money should be going towards the debt each month? Is there a way to limit further debt? All things you might want to discuss.
This is a big one, and one we personally didn’t see eye-to-eye on. I was raised by an incredibly frugal family, and my fiancé‘s parents lived less cautiously. So when savings came up, or the fact that he didn’t have one, it was a fight slash freakout on my end. What I didn’t realize was, neither is technically right or wrong—as much as I swore one was....