One of the biggest struggles I’ve had in my twenties is making friends.
And I know that might sound a little sad, but judging by the volume of emails I get from my readers telling me that they’re struggling with exactly the same thing, I know I’m not the only one!
Friendships in your twenties are TOUGH. With everyone moving cities, changing careers and living busy lives, it’s easy to feel like you’re alone. So in this blog post, I’m sharing 5 ways to make friends in your twenties – that aren’t awkward AF!
1. Get to know your friend’s friends
If you’re anything like me, when you meet your friend’s friends you normally don’t take too much interest. Sure, they seem nice, but you’re only going to hang out with them this one time so there’s no point getting to know them.
But getting to know your friend’s friends is actually one of the easiest ways to make new friends in your twenties. So take an interest and let your friend know that you’d like to do stuff with her group. And when you get invited, make sure you go! Yes, it might be a little uncomfortable at first but these are people that have already been vetted by your friend – so why not make the most of it?
If you’re passionate about feeding the homeless or finding homes for animals, volunteering could be the perfect way to make new friends. The key here is to make sure that you’re volunteering to help with a cause you’re actually passionate about – that way it will be easy to strike up conversation (and become friends) with your fellow volunteers. Bonus points if you take on an ongoing volunteering opportunity, as meeting people multiple times always makes things that bit easier.
3. Go to events
I know this one is SO obvious, but leaving your house increases your chances of making new friends. Who knew?! Start going to those events that your acquaintances invite you to and have a look online to see what events are being hosted in your city around different interests.
Since I have a business and I love talking about it, my favorite way to meet new people is by going to business conferences and events. But there are events being held every week for all different kinds of things! Check out meetup.com if you don’t know where to start and bonus points if you attend the event by yourself (don’t worry, most of the other people there will be going by themselves too).
4. Reach out on social media
OK, I know I just said that leaving your house increases your chances of making new friends, but reaching out to like-minded women online is actually a great way to kick-start a real life friendship.
A lot of my new friends have come from me reaching out to people on social media or from people reaching out to me. I know it might be different if you’re not a blogger, but if there’s anything you’re interested in then there are people you can reach out to!
Yes, it feels kinda weird. But remember, most women in their twenties are in the same situation as you and would LOVE to make a new friend.
Whenever I reach out, there’s a few things I like to do. The first is to make sure I never sound like a fan girl, because people want to be friends with their peers. And the second thing I do is give that person any easy out – I never presume they want to meet up with me or that they have the time. Not only does this let the other person know that I respect the fact that they’ve already got a lot of shit going on, but it also increases the chances that they’ll say yes because they don’t feel backed into a corner.
Here’s what I like to say:
‘Hi Sally! I saw that you’re posting about/doing [X] and thought I’d reach out to ask if you’d ever like to meet up for a coffee and share stories with someone who’s on a similar path. I know you’re busy and totally understand if you don’t have the time but just thought I’d get in touch to say I love what you stand for and to keep up the amazing work’.
5. Make time for the friends you already have
I know this one isn’t really about making new friends in your twenties, but I know I’m not the only one that gets so caught up in my own life that I don’t make time for the friends I already have!
If there’s someone you haven’t seen in a while, reach out to them, schedule a friendship date and make it happen!
Have you been struggling to make friends in your twenties? Let me know in the comments below.
And just so you know, I share more blog posts like this on my blog Smart Twenties.