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  1. October 31, 2015
    Candace says

    Hey Kristen, I had the same reaction from friends when I was in school. My dad’s attitude was, “You do have a job, you’re a college student.” Getting an A was a full ride; getting a B meant I was paying for my books and supplies; getting a C meant I was paying for books, supplies and my own rent; getting a D meant I was “fired” and on my own. You may not have that kind of agreement with your parents, but remember that your job right now is to be a hard working college student. And straight A’s now mean promotions and good salaries later.

  2. November 1, 2015
    Emily S says

    I would say to Kristen that I’ve been there…I know exactly how this feels. My parents worked hard, came from a very minimal life, and were able to provide for my brother and myself well beyond what they had growing up. They paid our college tuition and rent during college. They were very practical about all of this…state schools, “allowances” on what they’d give us for expenses, and we needed to get jobs during nights and weekends for “fun” (movie tickets, clothes shopping, anything else.) In their eyes they were allowing us to work hard and study in school and not have to stress. Be proud of how hard your parents have worked to do this for you. But…I also know what it’s like to feel judged for this very thing. It’s hard out there, college and living expenses are not cheap, and not everyone is as fortunate as you and I. There is some resentment there; “jealousy” is another way to put it, but I hate to say it that way because it makes it sound as though they’re not incredibly proud of all they’re accomplishing on their own. I remember when I finally had a “slow” semester and took on far more hours at work. I finally told my parents, please, let me take this semester to support myself, and I did! I was so proud! It felt SO good. But the following semester I had to change it up and went back to relying on them to get me through. Just know that your hard work in school WILL help you get to a place where you can support yourself and enjoy that feeling. Maybe remind your friend that you’re very thankful for the way your parents can help you out and that you’re proud of them for getting to that place. You could also mention that privilege isn’t something you have any control over; you shouldn’t be shamed for it.

  3. November 4, 2015
    Felicity says

    I agree with Amandas advice, and would add my personal side, because I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve been lucky enough through college and the years after to get help from my parents in some aspects, which I was always grateful for (though would often feel like people were looking down on me not entirely supporting myself). However, I have many friends and former roommates that had rent and tuition paid for that I was soooo jealous of! There were plenty of times I felt a bit superior for supporting myself but I was also so envious that they had such huge expenses paid for (and will never know what $50,000 of debt feels like). There’s plus sides to both, of course. But my biggest advise to to be grateful for what you have in life– you get a huge value as a person for working hard for something and you should be proud of that. But its natural to be envious of the other side and that’s okay, but money isn’t worth ruining a friendship over….if she’s not respecting you when you confront her about your feelings on this, that’s a different issue entirely.


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