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  1. October 5, 2017
    Elisabeth says

    This post was a really great reminder! I turned 25 this year and it seems like even a relationship is nowhere on the horizon for me. I definitely need to remind myself that it’s okay and to put the energy I spend worrying about it into something productive. Thank you for this!

    xo, Elisabeth
    http://elisabethhayes.com

    Reply
  2. October 5, 2017
    Rebecca says

    This is a great post and is one I definitely needed to see right now. I am single and Ive never been in a relationship before and sometimes i do feel crap about it but Im only 21 and like you said, everyones journey is different. x

    Reply
  3. October 5, 2017
    Kayla says

    Oh man I get asked on a DAILY basis when if/when my boyfriend is moving in / we are getting engaged. Sure, we’ve been together 6 years and I’m 27. But the truth is, it’s no one else’s business but our own. There’s no timeline we NEED to accomplish X, Y and Z by.

    Reply
  4. October 5, 2017
    Emily says

    Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU for this post. Self-torture is the most accurate description I’ve ever heard. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over three years, and I’m at the age where every summer is filled with back-to-back weddings so avoiding the topic has been damn near impossible. This was a good reminder that I (we) don’t need to follow anyone else’s schedule. We’re doing things at our own pace and that’s okay!

    Reply
  5. October 6, 2017
    Katie says

    Really enjoyed this article. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. We bought a home together but do not plan to get engaged. It’s hard because my younger friend just got engaged, so I’m struggling with that. I need to remind myself that everyone’s journey is different.

    Katie
    http://www.lavieencolor.com

    Reply
  6. October 8, 2017
    Julia says

    I love this post! I’m 20 years old, and I am going to school for my dream profession. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and we like to remind each other that marriage will not change our ultimate life goals. It’s so important for people in a relationship to find calm in the chaos. We have our goals, enjoy our passions, and marriage might be a milestone we eventually want to reach… but I don’t intend to put our lives on hold for an engagement.

    Reply
  7. October 14, 2017
    Rachael says

    Hi Chelsea Becker,

    Thank you for writing this article.

    I have been with my boyfriend for around 5 years and I am 25 years old (he is 26). I have lived in Sydney all my life. His parents were from Minnesota but he was born in Sydney and lived here for 11 years. They moved back to the USA when he was 11 years old. When he was 21 he decided to revisit Sydney and study abroad (2012). It was while he was studying in Sydney that we met and starting ‘dating’. We got to know each other intensely for around 3 months before he went back to Minnesota (and his family) to return to his university.

    Then we spent around 2 years dating internationally and he would come an see me every 4 months during his holidays. During that time he finalised his Australian citizenship so that he could live here. After 2 years he moved here as a poor student. It was really hard for him to get settled and that probably took around 1 year. It has been a few years. It has been a long process to settle and to let go.

    We love each other and are best friends. We also have a really deep faith in God and believe that he has brought us together. He has made his intentions very clear to me and he wants to get married soon.

    I’ve explained all this to say that despite loving each other deeply. We are not engaged yet. I have been desperate at times for this to happen but have realized that sometimes, even though he might love you with all his heart/life that doesn’t mean that he is ready. Sometimes good men have some emotions to work through and it might take some time. I have been really angry with him even to the point of almost giving up but he is the one that fought for me. After all this testing I can say that I don’t want to live without him.

    In conclusion…. sometimes the testing is worth it. Its worth seeing that you never want to live without that person.

    We are doing really well now and I thank you for writing your thoughts. You’re stronger than I have been but I think that I have learned how to be strong enough in myself to recognize that and engagement doesn’t define me or my worth.

    Many blessings,

    Rachael

    Ps. Hope to hear from you!

    Reply

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