5 Signs You’re Exactly Where You Should Be
posted on March 11, 2015 | by Amanda Holstein
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: your twenties are an extremely difficult time in life that no one seems to prepare you for. One reason for this is how hard we can be on ourselves. I’ve noticed from talking to close friends that we all seem to feel like we’re behind in life or we’re not where we “should” be. We think we should be making more money, or in a serious relationship, or loving our jobs. But the truth is, most of us are still figuring all of this stuff out, which is exactly what our twenties are for. So if you get anxiety about where you “should” be in life, just take a look at my list below that proves you’re right on track.
1. You’re beginning to really know yourself
Understanding who you really are, what you truly like and don’t like, and what kind of person you want to be are all really important things to think about in your twenties. You’re becoming less influenced by those around you and starting to pay more attention to you. The more time you spend getting to truly know yourself, the more you will make decisions that are true to your heart (i.e. the right decisions).
2. You know what you don’t want to do
Although you may have thought you’d figure it out by now, most of us still don’t know what we want to do (career wise). And that’s okay. How can we know when we’ve only been in the real world for a handful of years? This is the time to explore. And hey, I bet you know what you don’t want to do, and that’s half the battle.
3. You have a handful of really close friends
In high school and college, you probably had a close knit group of girls and guys. You didn’t necessarily choose them all, but you fell into the group by association. Now that we’re becoming adults, I’ve found that most of us are putting a higher value on individual relationships with specific friends from different areas of our lives. These kinds of relationships are more meaningful, fulfilling, and unique to our individual needs & personalities.
4. You’re making just enough to get by
If you’re anything like me, you probably haven’t even begun to think about opening a savings account or putting money away for the future. All I’m concerned with is making enough money to get by. Once I master day to day budgeting, then I’ll tackle the savings account. But for now, as recent grads, it’s totally normal to be making just what you need.
5. You feel comfortable showing up alone (and sober)
Becoming more independent is something we all focus on in our twenties, and this affects all aspects of our lives. We become less reliant on our friends and don’t need to do everything together. Now, if your friends are out at a bar or a movie, you have the confidence to show up alone (and without any liquid courage). Although it sounds like a small accomplishment, I think we all should get a high-five for that.
Just remember this: there is no normal. Everyone’s path in life is different and unique to them, so there is no official answer to the question, “Where should I be at this point in my life?”. In fact, toss those kinds of thoughts out the window because they are unproductive and just create anxiety. Trust that if you’re following your gut and being true to yourself, that you’re exactly where you should be.
Lindsay Ava Says
Love this post, while I’m still a student, I would say I have a good amount of these down. Although the financial aspect shall have to wait until after Vet School ! :)
really loved this post!
This is such a great message! Sometimes being in your twenties can feel like a race to something else, and some of these items can feel uneasy, but you’re completely right! These things mean we are right where we need to be, life is about loving the moment! Great post!
A Peck on the Chic
Absolutely Tara Says
My twenties were filled with self discovery. I definitely had a quarter life crises and had to discover who I was outside of my upbringing. Hell, I still fight this, and I think many people never do. Thanks for sharing.
This post definitely needs to be heard! Especially the there is no normal part. This is probably the best bit of advice we can get in our 20s!! Thanks for sharing!! xo, Jenna
Kat Smith Says
OMG, totally needed to hear this today. Thank you for sharing!
I completely agree that your twenties are for figuring out who you are in life – I think I’m still in that place and I will be 30 this year! I do disagree about the savings account – you really should learn about finances and at the very least, be putting some money away with each pay check into a separate account. Start now, don’t wait!
Ellen Faith Says
I love this post. I’m going to be 20 in April and I already feel this way and every one of those items applies. In fact I only just went to the movies the first time on my own the other week and you know what? It was great and I’ve decided to do it more often. Thank you for posting this!
Style Bits & Bobs of M.E. Says
Great points! I was just talking to someone about this the other day.
I totally agree about tuning out the “shoulds”… we have so much to offer as individuals, and the more we stay true to our deepest strengths and callings, the happier we’ll be. Love your blog– thanks for posting!
Love this post and it is so very true. I graduated two years ago and that first year out was the biggest growing year. Now, I finally feel like I have a grip on life!