Ask AmandaDating & Relationships

Ask Amanda: I’m Beginning to Feel a Big Change Within Myself

posted on December 30, 2016 | by Amanda Holstein

Ask Amanda: I’m Beginning to Feel a Big Change Within Myself


Hi Amanda,

I am a 22 year old female and I feel as if I’m going through some kind of big change within myself. I’m losing friendships that I realize now were very superficial. I recently got rid of all my social media accounts because I felt like it was too much drama and too much oversharing, and definitely too many superficial statuses and pictures. I’m not worried about the things I was worried about a couple years ago. I don’t care much for being well liked any longer.

All I care about is focusing on my job, keeping the good friendships I have left close to me, and educating myself. I’m more aware of my attitude and how I communicate with others than I ever was before. I am known for my notorious negative attitude, and I am really trying to dig deep to get rid of this. I want to be a better person. I’m wanting now more than ever to purge out negativity and bring in positivity and productivity. I’m not sure if I’m taking life too seriously or if I’m going through a big change. Am I losing friends because of my bad attitude or because I am trying to make changes within myself?



Hi Amy,

What you’re going through is totally normal, especially at your age. In our twenties, we often make the mistake of thinking we already have become who we’ll be for the rest of our lives. But in reality, our twenties are a time of major life change. This is when you’ll begin to really learn who you are, what you want out of life, what you want out of relationships, what’s important to you, etc. This is when you can try different things — beliefs, personas, hobbies, etc. — to really discover yourself. So it’s completely okay that you’re beginning to undergo these changes right now.

In fact, I think it’s great — it means you’re growing and learning to listen to your instincts. It sounds like you are much more self-aware and working to change things about yourself that have caused issues in the past, which is great. If you’re losing friends, and aren’t upset about it, then it’s most likely because you’re growing in different directions, which is totally normal at this point in your lives. I think it’s great that you’re focusing on making changes within yourself — continue to do so and don’t question it!