Dating & Relationships

How to End a Long-term Relationship

posted on December 17, 2018 | by Jess Ciesla

Dating is super fun, right? That is, until someone gets hurt. And you know what that means…the break up.

When you hear the word “break up”, you probably think of being broken up with, because that’s the worst and we’ve all been in that terribly depressing situation. However, sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes you’re put into a tough position because you no longer feel the same way about the person you’re seeing. And that can be even harder. In fact, I would argue that it’s definitely harder. I’ve been there. Done that. So, how should you go about ending a long-term relationship? You’re about to find out!

Be honest

No matter what your reasoning is for the break up, be honest with the person. Trying to sugar coat it isn’t going to help the situation. Odds are, they’re going to be heart broken regardless of the reasoning, but if you’ve been with this person for some time, then they deserve to know the truth. Are you interested in seeing other people? Or maybe it’s just bad timing and you want to explore being single. Whatever the case may be, let them know. You don’t want them to be questioning what they could have done to make the relationship work.

Do it in person

If you’ve been dating someone for several years, it’s important to respect the person and end the relationship face to face. I know it can be very difficult. I’ve been there. But it’s the right thing to do and they will appreciate that you took the time to explain yourself in person. Texting or even a phone call is very impersonal. For the record, I ended a 5 year relationship several years back, and I could have used my own advice! Although I did end up breaking it off in person, I can’t say I went about the whole thing the right way. So please, take my advice.

Be calm

Breaking up is emotional. It doesn’t matter if you’re the one doing the breaking up or if you’re being broken up with. Tears will be shed and words will be had. It can get kind of messy. It’s important for you to remain as calm as possible. If your partner starts screaming at you, let them be angry. There’s nothing they can do at that point to make you want to stay. So let them vent and simply listen to them.

Don’t look back

After breaking up with someone, it can become very easy to feel sorry for yourself and for your ex. Try to remember that you broke it off with them for a reason. The bad parts of the relationship outweighed the good parts, and the two of you just weren’t compatible. The minute you start second guessing your decision is when you are most likely to fall back into the unhealthy relationship you just ended. Stand firm. Cut off all communication with that person. Unfollow them on social media so you don’t feel tempted to snoop on their account and see what they’ve been up to. Trust me on this one.

Relationships are tough. If you’re reading this post because you’re currently going through a break up, hang in there! Everything happens for a reason. And remember, you’re always stronger than you think you are! Best of luck, friends.