Ask AmandaDating & Relationships

Ask Amanda: When is the right time to move on from an ex?

posted on March 10, 2017 | by Amanda Holstein

Question:

Hi Amanda,

My ex and I were together for almost a year, our entire sophomore year of high school, plus a few more months. We’ve been broken up since the beginning of this school year, and aren’t really on good terms. I’ve gotten rid of the majority of our digital pictures, but I can’t seem to let go of our tangible memories I’ve collected. I have a lot of things from our relationship in a shoe box under my bed. How long is too long? When is it time to move on?

Thanks,
Melissa

Answer:

Hi Melissa,

There is no formula for how long it takes to move on from a relationship. Every relationship differs, just as every individual differs. What’s important is that you do what feels right to you. If your gut is telling you that you don’t feel ready to get rid of those things, then you don’t have to!

I also think it’s important to note that saving those things does not have to mean that you’re not over him. You can want to save those memories and move on at the same time. It doesn’t need to be an either/or. This person was important to you in your life, so I can understand why you don’t just want to erase those memories. Keeping those items doesn’t have to mean that you’re still hanging on to that relationship. You do what feels right to you and don’t worry about how others might judge you. Most importantly, don’t judge yourself! Listen to your gut and give yourself the space to feel nostalgic about the relationship and emotionally past it at the same time.

Good luck!

xoxo
Amanda