Dating & Relationships

How to Deal With Running Into an Ex

posted on September 28, 2017 | by Chelsea Becker

Oh, the joys of running into an ex. Who’s been there before? Whether things ended on a good note or as a complete disaster, it’s pretty damn awkward. It’s also a time where you usually wish you handled it different. You know those “I wish I said that,” or “I wish I didn’t say that“? That’s been the case for me more times than not when seeing an old fling. If you have an ex that you’re bound to run into, thinking about these four things in advance might ease the situation.

Be the bigger person, usually

I try to use this logic for most situations in life, and this is no different. Even if your ex was a total dick, you’ll likely feel better about yourself if you don’t stoop to their level. Smile and be kind. If they hurt you badly and you don’t want to fake it, that’s the time to ignore the person and move on – literately and figuratively. Just do so without making a scene, or you might regret the drama.

Read the situation

I’ve found this to be especially important when seeing an ex where things ended well. I personally have friendly relationships with all of my ex’s, but that doesn’t mean we need to be buddy-buddy – especially when there are new relationships involved. (Something that I learned the hard way!) Especially if you’re with a current bf/gf when you run into an ex, make it a priority to make your partner feel comfortable, not your ex.

Watch the flirting

All ex’s have something in common: there’s chemistry. But unless you want to leave the run-in with thoughts of possibly getting back together, limit the flirting. It might feel natural, but it’ll likely make things even more confusing. Attempt treating them like you would any other acquaintance.

Stay in the present

Unless you’re looking for closure and the situation feels right, try not to go backwards. Asking why they did X, what they meant by Y, or how they felt about Z will only drag things out. Realize that they’re now your ex for a reason (things probably weren’t meant to be!), and that you want to focus on your future.

Have you had awkward run-ins with ex’s?
How did you handle it?