Self Improvement

5 Things That Prove You are More Successful Than You Think

posted on October 2, 2019 | by Sanhita Mukherjee

We all have those days — days of deep insecurity, when things don’t go exactly as planned, and we end up questioning every single decision we ever made. Days when every little ‘fail’ hits you hard. For example, you thought you’d be so much further in your career by now or you ask yourself, why you haven’t you found “The One” yet? Or you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing with your life, and you’re not traveling half as much as you want to.

Sound familiar?

Now, logically you know that success is more than just money, a big job title, a particular relationship status or a certain lifestyle. But on days like this, it’s difficult not to compare yourself to others based on these very parameters. And if you’re not exactly where you had hoped to be, it’s really difficult to think of yourself as being ‘successful’.

Next time you’re having one of those days, stop and read this. If you relate to any of these points, you are more successful than you give yourself credit for.

You lead a balanced lifestyle

When I say a balanced lifestyle, I do not simply mean that you wake up at 5 am, go for a run, meditate, and still find time to pack a healthy lunch before heading out for work. There are innumerable other ways to find balance in your life.

Maybe you spend an awful lot of time working, but you are careful to pay equal attention to your mental health too. Maybe you post quite a bit on social media, but you know how to stay in the moment when you’re with your loved ones. Or maybe you just know yourself well enough to understand when you need to go for a run, and when you need a pizza. If you are able to enjoy the things that make you happy, without going overboard or feeling guilty, then that according to me, is a mark of success.

You feel comfortable admitting when you’re wrong or giving credit where it’s due

You messed up. You overlooked an error in that report you just turned in. You forgot to pick up groceries when you know it was your turn to do so. You hit ‘Reply All’ on a message that was not meant for everyone on that thread. What do you do?

If you own up to your mistake, apologize, and avoid shifting blame (“How about that one time YOU forgot to do the laundry?”) — you have a lot to feel good about. It shows you don’t think less of yourself just because you’re wrong — and you don’t think others will either. The same goes for times when you are praised for something that you did not do, and you feel comfortable redirecting credit where it’s due. Not everyone is mature or confident enough to do that. The fact that you are, makes you more successful than you think.

You are able to stand up for yourself

Sometimes, it’s equally difficult to speak up when you’re on the other side of the equation — when somebody else gets credit for work that you have done, or when you’re blamed for something that was not your fault. Unfortunately, the person whose fault it was may not always do the right thing — and you speaking up would mean throwing this person under the bus. This is definitely not an easy situation to be in. So if you can think of instances where you managed to find a way to stand up for yourself, you should definitely celebrate that as a success.

This is true for personal situations too. Maybe someone made an inappropriate comment, took you for granted or was way out of line in the way they behaved. Sometimes it is easier to stay quiet and let it slide. But if you spoke up and asked for the respect you rightly deserve, then that’s a huge win for you!

You don’t feel guilty saying no

If someone asks you to do something you know you don’t want to do, saying no is definitely the healthy, grown-up way to respond. However, it’s so difficult to do this without overthinking or feeling guilty. (Were they offended? Did they think I was being selfish? Should I offer to do it anyway?)

If you’re in a place where you can say no without any associated feelings of guilt or negativity, massive props to you! It takes a whole lot of confidence and strength to put your needs first, and avoid people-pleasing — and it looks like you’re there already!

You don’t feel the need to one-up your friends

A friend tells you she got a big promotion at work, and you don’t immediately want to share a win of your own to show that you, too, are doing great. An old classmate announces her engagement, and you don’t steal her thunder in any way. A colleague talks about how tired he is, and you don’t leap in with a sleep deprivation story of your own.

This shows that you’re in a place where you no longer look for validation from others. The twenties are a time of some of the deepest insecurities and uncertainties. So if you are able to genuinely be happy for, or sympathetic to others without feeling insecure (or without acting upon your insecurities even if you do feel them), you’re doing great!

What’s a success you’ve had outside of the traditional definition?