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Ask Amanda: My Family is Doubting My Big Move
posted on January 22, 2016 | by Amanda Holstein
Question:
Hi Amanda!
I am *finally* graduating from college in May. San Francisco is my favorite city, and I am hoping to get a job and move out there over the summer. I am so ecstatic to begin a new chapter of my life in a new city with a new job!
The only thing that is frustrating me, however, is that whenever I tell anyone — even my mom — that I am wanting to move to SF, their first response is, “You know it’s, like…really expensive out there, right?”.
The answer to this question is always “yes”. Yes, I know that SF is always #1 on the Most Expensive Cities list, and yes, I know that there will have to be lots of budgeting and sacrificing made to live there. I typically just brush these comments off, but after getting that response so many times, I can’t help that it has started to bring me down and make me question whether or not I could actually survive financially out there.
What is your advice when it comes to newbies who want to move to the Bay Area? This is such an awkward topic to bring up, but I just need some reassurance!
Thanks!
PS: all of your SF neighborhood guides are making me want to move out there even more!!
Answer:
Hi Kate!
Thanks for your email! I am VERY familiar with that response and my response is always — yes it is expensive, but it’s SO worth it!
The truth is, if you really want to live here, you can make it work. There are TONS of recent grads and twenty-somethings living here and they all find a way to do it successfully. Sure, you sacrifice space and have to be more conscious of your budget, but it’s definitely doable. Plus, there are SO many free things to do here like hiking, beach, parks, that you don’t spend as much on activities and entertainment.
Throughout life there are always going to be people questioning your decisions, but remember that their response is much more about themselves than it is about you. If you have the confidence and the will to make it work, then have faith in that. All that matters is your opinion and that you can and will make it work!
I hope this helps :).
xoxo and welcome to San Francisco!!!
Amanda
Kari Says
I’ve always found it the most important to try to shake off the thoughts and feelings of others when it comes to my personal life. I’ve done a lot of things that people didn’t agree would be of good consequence for me and they ended up being SO wrong. “Don’t move for a guy!” I did…and I married him and we’re very happy. “Don’t invest too much in that business.” I did and now I’m doing something I really enjoy. “Don’t rent, buy a home.” I haven’t and really enjoy someone else footing the bill when something breaks or has issues. Everyone else will have their thoughts and opinions, but you can’t let that change the direction of your own life and dreams. Dream on! You’ll be glad you did even if it doesn’t work out like you expected.
Amanda Says
Post authorWell said, Kari! I totally agree — everyone is going to have their own opinion, but all that matters is what feels right to you. Go for it and it’ll be worth it!
Anna E. Lee - Interior Design Says
This Q & A was so encouraging! My husband is currently getting his PhD at the college of William and Mary here in WIlliamsburg, however once he’s done we plan to relocate. My dream has always been to live out in California (I’m a West-Coast girl at heart). There will be a lot of job opportunities out in the San Jose / San Francisco area when he’s done however whenever we bring it up our parents don’t hesitate to note how expensive it is to live out there. Like you said though Amanda, there is so much fun stuff to do (i.e. hiking, walking around downtown, etc.) that I’d be happy in a small space if it means I got to live in my dream area.
Amanda Says
Post authorI know exactly how you feel! I’m so glad this was an encouraging Q&A. You are right — if the Bay Area is where you want to be, your happiness will trump everything else. Welcome to CA!!