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Ask Amanda: How to Talk to My High School Crush
posted on September 25, 2015 | by Amanda Holstein
Question:
Hi Amanda!
My name is Sam, and well I may have a big crush on this football player who’s in a few of my classes. I’m currently a junior in high school!
I knew of this guy since last year, he’s pretty popular I guess. He probably never knew of my existence till I had a few classes with him this year. He tries to talk to me about our other classes and stuff, but I’m just so shy. I’m wondering if he genuinely just was asking questions bc he wanted to know or if he wanted to start a conversation with me? I mean then again he could’ve asked other people but I may be overthinking this one.
Anyway, another problem is that I’ve heard he’s all about sex and all that stuff. Personally, that’s just not me and I don’t know if I could like someone who does those things, but I can’t help it bc he is a nice, chill, and funny guy and I’d love to get closer to him. Others told me that if it was with me though, he would treat me right. So I need help with how do I not be shy around him, and should I even continue to like him?
Thanks!!
Sam
Answer
Hi Sam!
Let me see if I can help you out :).
It’s definitely a good sign that he talks to you and asks you questions. I would try to gain some confidence from that and engage in more conversations with him. The only way to get to know if he likes you is to keep talking to him and getting to know him. I totally understand being shy – I was very much like that in high school as well. I think what helps is to focus on all the things you like about yourself and literally list them to yourself. The ones that make you who you are and the ones that you’d want a guy to see in you. Let those shine through as much as you can. Try your best to relax and have some perspective on the situation. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe you say something silly or there’s an awkward silence – who cares? Those are small things and if he likes you, he’ll see past that. And if he doesn’t see all the amazing things you have to offer, then he isn’t a good fit for you. You want someone who likes your true qualities, who you really are.
In terms of him being into sex and other things, that’s honestly very normal for teenage boys. It’s more a matter of if he pressures girls to be sexual with him or if he treats girls with respect. You can’t really make a decision about that until you see how he treats you, so I would say, don’t worry about that for now. If you like him, you like him, so continue to talk to him and see where it goes. If there comes a situation where you feel uncomfortable, then you need to speak up and see how he responds. But I wouldn’t let that deter you just yet.
I hope this helps! Please let me know if you need any more advice and good luck!
xo
Amanda
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Jenny Says
I like this guy since year 8 we only texted each other and then he dated my best friend and they broke up but I still texted him then for one or two years we didn’t text until year 10 we started again I like him but he changes girls a lot so I don’t text him when he’s dating I’m in year 12 now and we’ve hang out officially once and it went okay we talked for about 40 mins and left cause he goes to a different school now I really like him and got his number and all social media stuff I tried asking him that I want to know him more and he said I already know everything about him but I he’s always busy cause he’s in a all boys school and we can’t text that much at school and I always start the text what do I do it’s been nearly five years since we’ve been taking and I really like him and want him to date me or at least consider the though please help me out guys.
Christine Tran Says
Hi Amanda!
My name is Christine and over this summer, I met a guy online in a game. Later in the day, I found out that he attended the high school that I was going to. I texted him and talked to him for months, but I can’t even speak to him. He’s a sophomore on the football team and I’m a freshman in water polo. I can’t build up enough confidence to talk to him. The only time I really had a conversation with him in person was at Homecoming. He complimented my appearance and invited me to the after-party at his house. Sadly, I went straight home afterward.
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