Now that I’ve taken the time to look back on my year in New York, I think it’s time to look forward at what life will be like when I settle into San Francisco. So I’ve teamed up with Clinique to help spread awareness about their amazing #FaceForward campaign, encouraging you to set goals for your future self and celebrate personal accomplishments. The campaign aligns perfectly with what I’m going through now as I prepare for my move to San Francisco.
It’s interesting moving to a city I’ve already lived in. And not just any city, but a city where I experienced a lot of major life changes. The first time I moved to San Francisco was after college and I spent four of what I would consider very informative years there. San Francisco is where I discovered what I was passionate about in my career (through much trial and error). It’s where I first lived with a boyfriend — and broke up with one. It’s where I experienced depression for the first time and learned how to deal with it. I made new friends, dealt with friend conflict, experienced single life, and so much more. It was exciting, fun, difficult, scary, and I grew up a lot.
I mean, even the way I posed back then was depressing.
As I get ready to move back, I wonder how different it will feel this time around. Will I have the same friends? Will I hang out in the same places? Go through the same struggles? My guess is no — I’m in a very different place in my life. But before I jump into SF living, I want to give some advice to my future self so that I have something to turn to if/when things get rough. So here it is:
You’re not 22 anymore
I think the biggest thing I’ll need to remind myself is that I’m not the same person I was when I last lived in San Francisco. I’m stronger, more confident, and know myself so much better. I’ve become better at dealing with anxiety and conflict, and it’s important to remind myself of that. I have a feeling there will be moments when insecurities creep up that I dealt with in my early twenties. So, Amanda, remember who you are now and have confidence in that!
Nothing’s Permanent
I think what was most difficult for me when I last lived in San Francisco was how I dealt with tough situations. I experienced bouts of depression during those first few years after college and the hardest part was convincing myself that they would pass. Now that I’ve been through more difficult times and proved to myself that I can get through them, it’s easier to believe that nothing’s permanent. It can feel like it when you’re in a dark place, but those hard times always pass. So, Amanda, when things get tough, know that you will get through them, just how you’ve always done.
There are no wrong decisions
I actually came to this realization when speaking at high school Career Day a few months ago. The most common question was, “Did you make any decisions you regret?”. I realized every choice you make leads to something useful. When I chose a job I wound up hating, that didn’t make it a wrong decision because it enabled me to figure out what I wanted (and didn’t want) out of my career. If you listen to your gut at the time, then you’re making the right decision. So, Amanda, remember that every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn.
I want my future self to know that I’m proud of you. Look at how far you’ve come, how much you’ve grown, and don’t let anyone make you question that!
What would you tell your future self??? I want to know!
Bree Says
I love this post! These are all such great things to keep in mind, I especially love that you said there are no wrong decisions, I agree and think it’s so so true and also one of the hardest things to remember!
xo Bree
http://bree-west.com
Amanda Says
Post authorThanks Bree! So true – it is definitely one of the hardest things to remember!
Stephanie Says
Thanks for sharing your experience! I really appreciate your honesty about depression and anxiety — I dealt with that a lot in high school and college, and I get little spurs of anxiety here and there, but nothing like it was before!
I would tell my future self to listen to my body and to trust that it is always trying to tell me something (because it never lies). I would tell myself to never ignore these signals, to breathe deeply, turn off my mind, and just focus on healing the pain.
Amanda Says
Post authorI love that advice! It’s so true – the body never lies. My body knows if I like something, don’t something, and ready for a big change – all before my mind does!
Glad to hear you’ve gotten through the worst of your depression & anxiety. I feel ya, girl!
Katie Says
I LOVE your blog. Somehow, most of your posts relate to what I am going through. Just moved to a new state, in a transition and need to remember that nothing is permanent. Anything can change with just one phone call. PS my family is from Rye too :)
Amanda Says
Post authorThanks, Katie! That’s exactly right – you have total control! Hope you’re doing well in your new home (for now) and how funny you’re from Rye!
Jenna Says
Welcome back to San Francisco! I don’t blame you for wanting to experience New York…it is one of my favorite cities and something I wish I did too! But SF is preeeettyyy magical as well. :o) Thanks for sharing this article! I can definitely relate to it on many levels (per usual with your posts!) Have a great day and good luck with the move!
Amanda Says
Post authorThanks so much, Jenna! I love hearing that you can relate to my articles – that’s what I strive for! xoxo
Delilah Scrudato Says
Hi Amanda!
My name is Delilah I’m 25 and I suffer from depression and anxiety (which has been more severe as of late). In your post you mentioned different ways you cope with it. It would be really helpful if you could share that information with me. I have overcome a lot and am stronger, I often get stuck in the fact that its never going to go away and that I’m going to have to live with this mental illness forever. Thanks for your time!
Xo Delilah
p.s. my blog is from college and just a compilation where I could store my best writing pieces.
If possible email is best!
Keir Says
I’ve only just come across your blog today, snd after reading a lot more posts then I care to admit; I’d just like to say thanks. It’s so great to sit here and read about your experiences and know that I am not alone in my situation, just knowing that you’ve gone through similar troubles and have come out on top is reassuring. I’m incredibly grateful for your bravery of opening up to the internet and I hope that you continue on your path onwards. I’ll be there one day, because of you!
Amanda Holstein Says
Post authorThank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment! It means the world to me to know that my content is helping someone out there :). I hope you stick around! xx