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  1. January 15, 2013
    Natalie says

    I think the strangest thing about your first fight, particularly in a really good relationship, is that you’ve already gone SO long without fighting and probably talk a lot about how you never fight, which you think proves that the two of you are superior together. So when you finally do fight, it really makes you question whether or not you are in the relationship you previously thought you were in. I was lucky – my first “fight” with my then boyfriend (now husband) was pretty open and shut – I was really busy doing something at school and wasn’t responding to his calls and texts like I should have been (we were long distance), so he told me I needed to make our relationship a bigger priority, and he was right. I have some friends, though, whose first fight was a knock-down drag-out battle over the proper definition of a burrito. Yes, a burrito. I think when you fight about things like that and can’t agree, you often thing it’s over. But I agree with everything in your advice above – it’s not the end, it’s normal, you will move on. I think what you’ve written is something everyone in a relationship they’re excited about needs to hear – keep up the great work!

    Name’s Not Ashley

  2. January 15, 2013

    Oh the first fight. I don’t even remember what our first fight was about. In fact, a lot of fights are forgotten once we talk it out.

    I have learned to “fight” better. I definitely have learned to avoid blaming and using words like “you.” I also have used words like “us” and “we” to imply we have both contributed to something not working. A lot of positive words go a long way…even in a fight. Though, it takes a lot of effort to do so. Naturally, when people fight, it’s to become negative and go for a win…but once you train yourself, the fights don’t get so heated and you also learn when to walk away.

    You’re right…you fight with people you love often (parents, siblings, friends). It doesn’t mean you love your significant other less if you do fight.


  3. January 16, 2013

    I dont remember what our first fight was on. I can only remember the times i cried when we talked through it cos i was so relieved.


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