Dating & Relationships

4 Tips For Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

posted on September 23, 2019 | by Jess Ciesla

I got married on September 1st and it was the.best.day.of.my.life. No joke. We got married in Vermont with all our friends and family surrounding us and it was the most incredible day. The venue was perfect, I was absolutely obsessed with my hair and my dress, my future hubby was looking as handsome as ever, and the weather was PERFECT! 70 degrees and sunny. No clouds. No wind. For real, I’m not sure how we got so lucky!

Matt and I were so excited to be getting married in Vermont. We’re from NJ so this was a bit of a destination wedding for our guests. We wanted our ceremony to be short and sweet, but also very meaningful. So, we decided we would write and read our own vows on the day of the wedding – in front of all our guests…

Now, anyone that knows me knows that public speaking makes me so uncomfortable. I’m actually getting uncomfortable just thinking about it, so you can imagine how nervous I was for this! Well, despite the butterflies I had leading up to the big moment, I can happily say that writing our own vows was the best decision we made. So, this post is for all my girls (or guys) who’ve decided to write and read their own vows. I hope this helps!

Make Promises

I know this sounds obvious, but I’ve heard vows that are just long cutesy stories about how the two people met. That’s great, don’t get me wrong. However, vows are a serious thing. You’re making a huge commitment and you’re solidifying that commitment with the words you speak to your partner. Therefore, it’s important that you make promises to your partner that prove your devotion to them. These promises don’t have to be all sappy. For example, my husband vowed to love my dog the same way I do (which is A LOT). It was cute and funny but also really meaningful to me.

Don’t Procrastinate

This is so important! I started writing my vows a good 3 months before the wedding. I started with an outline of what I wanted to say and all the great qualities my husband possessed. And guess what? I still changed up my vows about 10 times before I finalized them. Had I waited to start writing them a few weeks before the wedding, my anxiety would have been through the roof! It’s already a very nerve-racking thing to profess your love for your partner in front of hundreds of people. The last thing you need is added pressure. My advice is to start journaling your ideas. Anytime something pops into your head, even if it’s not a fully thought out idea, write it down. It will make the whole process a lot easier and you’ll feel more confident.

Slow Down

Public speaking isn’t for everyone. In fact, I would argue that it’s not for most people. And for me, when I get nervous, I tend to speak faster so I can get it over with. That’s why it’s important to indicate in your vows where you want to pause and how you want to enunciate certain words. It will make your vows sound so much nicer, and it will be easier for you to follow along as you read them. When I was writing mine, I would start a new paragraph whenever I knew I should pause for a moment. It almost forces a natural pause. This helped me so much!

Read Them Out Loud

Practice makes perfect! Now I’m not saying you need to stand up in front of the room and read them as if it were your wedding day. You could simply sit down and speak softly out loud. Practicing your vows out loud allows you to feel more comfortable with the words that are being spoken. Who knows, you might even be able to memorize bits and pieces of it. Doing this will help tremendously. You could also time yourself as you’re reading them. This will let you know whether you’re speaking too quickly or not.

Writing your own vows is so special. It will be something you remember forever and will bring you and partner even closer together. Whether you decide to read them out loud during your ceremony or privately with just you and your partner, it’s an experience you’ll never forget. Don’t stress yourself out about it. Speak from the heart and it will all work out!

Best of luck, friends!