4 Ways Friendships Change in Your Twenties
posted on August 16, 2019 | by Lauren Abraham
Friendships: they’re a beautiful thing, but can also be complicated.
As we grow and change throughout our lives, so do our friendships. This is especially the case while in our twenties – a period of time in which many of us change the most. As we change, so do our friends, and each one of our journeys looks different. This means that our relationships will inevitably change, too.
While your meaning of friendship might change throughout the years, our need for connection stays the same. So how do we navigate relationships in this new chapter?
Here are 4 ways that friendships change while in your twenties, as well as some tips for maintaining friendships despite the challenges we might face.
You Might Not See Each Other as Much
The usual case when it comes to friendships in your twenties is that you will see each other less. This isn’t because you or your friends are being flaky, it has more to do with the fact that everyone’s schedule is different.
While in college, it was easy to text your friend to meet up at the dining hall or walk together to class. Now, you’re most likely trying to balance a full-time job, living on your own, getting enough sleep…the list goes on and on. Among your friends, some might get married, start families or even move across the country for a career.
For all of these reasons, finding time to meet up in person becomes a lot more difficult. Seeing your friends less doesn’t have to be a negative thing, however. Your relationships can remain just as strong. It’s often said that a true friend is one you can go months without seeing and when you reconnect, nothing changes.
If anything, distance and busy schedules will show you who your true friends really are. You’ll have to work harder to see the people you love, which is a part of life. You might have to plan to get dinner weeks in advance, which makes the time you do spend together that much more special.
Quality Over Quantity
It’s easy to maintain friendships with people you see on a regular basis. While you were in college, you might have had a group of friends that all lived in the same dorm, which meant you regularly bumped into each other in the halls and would spend time together every weekend. While these friends were always available to spend time with, it doesn’t necessarily mean you had deep connections with every single one.
In your twenties, time becomes precious. Like mentioned before, differing schedules will mean that you have to work much harder to see your friends. Naturally, you’ll grow closer with friends who encourage you, support you, and fill you up. These are the kinds of friends who will stick with you throughout all seasons of life – the good and bad. These friendships aren’t one-sided or based on popularity or status.
Having a smaller group of friends is completely normal, and in fact, it will allow you to invest more in the relationships you do have. You’ll realize that the quality of your friendships is what means the most.
What You Need From Your Friends Looks Different
As we grow and change, we need different things from our relationships. Our twenties are filled with big decisions and challenges and you’ll look to your friends for support. This means that your conversations will be more open, vulnerable, and honest. You’ll need a listening ear when making a career change, navigating romantic relationships, and all of the things we work through while in our twenties.
This doesn’t mean that your friendships before were shallow or meaningless, it just means that your relationships will grow and change right alongside you. Sometimes, you and your friends might want to have a girls’ night out, while other times, grabbing dinner or having a movie night at your apartment is what you need to connect.
Your Relationships Will Be Deeper
Friends that you make and keep while in your twenties are often your ride-or-dies. You’ll experience so much life together – whether it’s traveling, celebrating a job promotion, moving to a new place, weddings, or even starting a family. The beauty in this is that while each one of our journeys is unique, we can still come together as friends who support one another.
Friends you connect with on a deep level will be the people you can vent to when you’ve had a stressful day at work, go on adventures with, and give you a reality check when you need it. They’ll encourage you to be the best version of yourself and will always have your back. These friendships enrich our lives in the very best way.
Your twenties can be scary, exciting, fun, and stressful all at once, and the people you share it with mean the most. Having friends you can count on to encourage you in your lows and celebrate with you in your highs are a rare find, so keep your friends close! The challenges that can come with maintaining friends during this time are totally worth it. Remember – you have to be a good friend to have good friends!
Do you have any tips for maintaining friendships while in your twenties? Let us know in the comments below.