Blogging 101: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
posted on August 11, 2016 | by Amanda Holstein
No matter what blogger I talk to, whether it’s a newbie just starting out or a seasoned veteran who’s doing it full-time, we all have issues with comparing ourselves to others. None of us are happy with our Instagram following or our engagement or the number of comments we receive on our blog, and the truth is, we never will be. We will always be striving for more. And comparing ourselves to our peers with more followers or higher engagement rates just makes things worse.
The good news is, we all do it. So you’re certainly not alone in feeling this way. But since comparing ourselves to others clearly doesn’t help us in any way, how can we change our mentality? Here are a few things I tell myself when those negative thoughts start taking over:
1. There’s room for all of us.
It’s true! I’ve worked on the brand side, the agency side, and the blogger side, and I can tell you — there really is room for all of is in this space. Brands are constantly looking to work with different bloggers so they can reach different audiences. Plus, brands aren’t always looking for the bloggers with the largest followings. Not all brands have budgets to pay for those bloggers and some brands have different goals, like reaching very specific audiences. So just because there are tons of bloggers with more followers than you, that does not mean they are going to take any opportunities away from you. There is room for all of us!
2. Think non-competatively.
It’s easy to get competitive in an oversaturated market, but is it necessary? No. Each and every one of us is different in our own way. Brands like working with a variety of bloggers, and readers like following lots of different bloggers. So why look at another blog as a competitor? I find that thinking more collaboratively not only helps with my mental state, but with the success of my blog as well. As you can see, I don’t hide anything from my peers. I’ll share my advice, my network, my stats, whatever it is that might help, because I truly don’t believe it hurts me to share this information — in fact, I think it helps all of us. If we want to keep this blogosphere afloat, we need to work together!
3. Put on your blinders.
Sometimes it’s important to just put on your blinders and stop looking at what your peers are doing. For many reasons, actually. When you stop focusing on how everyone else is doing, you put your time in energy into your own work, which is the most important after all. Sometimes looking at what others are doing can prevent you from getting creative and stepping outside the box to do something different as well. I find that I do my best work and come up with my most creative ideas when I haven’t looked at other blogs in a while. Stick to what you think is cool and what you want to do — that is what will make your blog unique and what will allow you to be truly satisfied from blogging in the long run.
4. Look at the big picture.
If I ever get frustrated with the number of “likes” I got on an Instagram photo (let’s face it, that happens everyday), I try to step back and look at the big picture. I ask myself questions that help me get some perspective. What is the importance of those likes? To have a stronger following. Why do I need a strong following? So that brands will want to work with me on sponsorships. Are you working with brands on sponsorships? Yes. So, is this number preventing you from getting work? No. Does this number affect the creative satisfaction you get out of doing your blog? No. So…why does it matter?? It doesn’t!
Of course, wanting to grow your reach and strengthen your audience engagement are great goals to strive for. But taking a step back and asking yourself if your current numbers are hurting you in any way is a good way to get some perspective.
5. Remember what’s important.
When I start comparing myself to others, I inevitably feel “behind”. So I find it important to ask myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. Is it to be at the top? Is it to be the most successful? Nope, not for me at least. My goal is to be able to do what I love full-time, and apparently, I don’t need to be the biggest blogger in order to do that. Because I’m doing it right now and I certainly don’t have the largest following out there (not even close!). I try to remind myself that the reason I do this is because I love it. It’s the creativity that satisfies me, not the numbers, so I try to keep my focus on that.
Do you ever compare yourself to others? How do you handle it?
Nicole Says
I love love love this post, Amanda! I’ve been blogging since 2009 and have gone through periods when I compare myself to others with similar blogs. I completely agree with you in that when I stop reading blogs for a little bit, I’m so much more creative!!
xx, Nicole @ Simply-Nicole.com
Erin Cusack Says
Ah great advice! It’s so easy to get stuck in the comparison trap, but you’re right- there is room for all of us!
I find that focusing on “staying in my own lane” or as you said, putting the blinders on, does really help. I read other blogs as a reader, not a blogger which helps me to separate the 2.
Devea Says
Amanda I love this post! It offered some really great tips with this topic. This topic has been on my mind a lot lately and I basically came to all these conclusions. I love the advice that you gave too, I felt like it was unique from what I have read, and inspired me to blog again!
I actually wrote this similar post a couple of days ago where I talk about my feelings on all the endless information on how to ‘make your blog popular’ Although it is meant to help it make me feel like I am doing something wrong with my blog not getting enough follower. Anyways I digress, thank you for this!
http://thedoseofchic.com/2016/08/08/the-new-world-of-blogging/
ashley Says
Thanks so much for this Amanda. I need to bookmark this and go back to it. It’s so hard to not compare yourself to others all the time!
For me this definitely comes and goes in waves, but I needed this today! XooX
Hattie B Says
Thanks for this, really interesting and a different take on things (from what I’ve read!). I love reading other blogs but sometimes worry about how much they influence me and hamper my creativity..
H x
Aïchatou Bella Says
OMG. SUCH a great post. I am currently in a funk and wanting to give up because of comparing myself and numbers to bloggers who have done it for so long. Comparison is truly the thief of joy and all those points you addressed rings true.
xo,
Aïchatou Bella
http://www.stilettosandstandards.com
Sanjeet Veen Says
Hi recently I started few blogs. Very helpful post for bloggers, Great tips given, Thanks.
Elana Says
Yes to all of this! I was just talking to another blogger friend today about how much I value our friendship because we lift each other up and aren’t competitive. We share tips, articles, and what works for us. And your session I took with Career Contessa was a perfect example of your willingness to teach and help others.
Sarah Says
Your series has been so helpful. Excellent articles!
Rose | Mrs A to B Says
This is such a brilliant reality check and something very blogger should read (perhaps every day!). Thank you.
Rose | Mrs A to B Says
This is such brilliant advice and something all bloggers should read (perhaps every day as we all feel the despair!)
Marlies Says
Thanks for this advice. I compare myself way to much with other people and I annoy myself doing that!
Always nice to read I’m not the only one. I try to not compare myself with other blogs but it is hard.
Alli B Says
I really needed to hear all of this today! I am a new blogger and am struggling to gain followers. I look at other people’s blogs and immediately feel dissatisfied with my own. It is hard not to do the comparison thing, especially when I want to learn from other people’s blogs so I am constantly visiting other sites. I’ve also heard the advice to get out there through other blogs by commenting and things like that- it is hard to constantly be on more well developed spaces and not compare. Any advice on that?
brandon comberger Says
This really helped me feel better about my future and myself!
Papaga Bless Says
Wow.Thanks soooo much . I’m very much inspired. I’ve really suffered fromthis but now I’ve seen reason enough to stop and be happier.
And I want to confirm that it’s true that if you stick to your own thing, better results come out than looking elsewhere for content. Thanks xoxo.
This is a reader from Ghana, West Africa!
Adriana Says
Ugh, this makes me feel so much better.
I am relatively new to blogging, I am borderline obsessed with it, and even though I am very satisfied with my content, I can’t help but feel like I am not fully satisfied with the way my site looks.
Pretty regularly I find myself on other bloggers sites and they’re so intricate and beautiful! I know I know I will get there with a little more time, practice, and of course money. But it sucks to compare what you love to everyone else. But I know it isn’t always about the site. I know it should be about the content.
It’s just nice to be reminded that really, no matter how far we get, how beautiful our websites are, or how many followers & readers we have, none of us are ever going to be fully satisfied, and to focus on whats most important. The content and what we can do for other people.
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Nedra Says
I really enjoyed this post. Thanks for the advice.