Dating & Relationships

How to Know When He’s Not the One

posted on August 20, 2018 | by Jess Ciesla

We see so many articles floating around the internet like, “how to know if he’s the one”, “5 ways to know if he’s marriage material,” etc. However, I feel like there aren’t too many people out there talking about how they knew their partner wasn’t right for them. Well, I’m about to change that.

Today’s post is all about how to recognize when you should walk away from a relationship. Because let’s face it, too many of us get stuck in relationships that aren’t moving us in a positive direction. And it’s time we change that.

Your Morals/Beliefs Are Not Aligned

When I say your morals and beliefs need to be aligned, I’m not saying they need to be exactly the same. Everyone is going to have differing opinions at one point or another. However, if your core beliefs are completely off, there are going to be some big problems down the road. And I’m speaking from experience here.

I was in a serious relationship with a guy for years. The entire time I was with him, I knew we had very different outlooks on life. But we got along really well when we weren’t discussing certain major topics. In the end, when push came to shove, the relationship failed. Why? Well, my boyfriend at the time was pretty religious. I was not. We could not agree on anything regarding our future, and it turned into some nasty fights. Ultimately, I couldn’t see the relationship surviving long term, so I broke it off. My advice to you is to figure out what’s really important to you and stand firm.

There Is No Compromise

All relationships are a two-way street. They require a whole lot of give and take, whether you like it or not. If you’re in a relationship where your partner refuses to accept any of your wants, needs or interests, then the relationship is not going to last. Say for example: your good friend is getting married. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t know any of the other guests that will be at the wedding, so he says he doesn’t want to go. This is a RED FLAG, ladies.

I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it always starts out small, and before you know it, he’ll be backing out of everything because he knows he can get away with it. If it’s important to you that he goes, then he needs to make that sacrifice and go with you. If he refuses, then he doesn’t truly care about you or the relationship. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. My advice to you would be to let him know how much it would mean to you that he attend the wedding with you. If he still puts up a fight, I’d recommend re-evaluating your relationship.

You Stop Doing The Things You Love

Whenever you get into a new relationship, it’s really easy to forget about the things you love doing and spend every waking moment together. That’s normal…to an extent. This stage in a relationship should only last for a short period of time. If you find that your partner is making you feel guilty for wanting to do the things you love, then this is a red flag. Your partner should be encouraging you to try new things and pursue projects you’re passionate about. That’s all part of being in a healthy and mature relationship. I learned this the hard way. Head over to my blog to read about my experience!

Relationships are no joke. I know there’s many of you out there who are reading this post for a reason. If you’re reading this because you’ve found yourself in a tough spot, just know you’re not alone. And most importantly, trust your instincts and put your happiness first. Always.