My Argument For Living Together Before Marriage
posted on October 29, 2019 | by Jess Ciesla
Living together before marriage is becoming more and more common. When I was younger, I thought I would meet someone, date them for several years, plan a beautiful wedding, and then buy a house together. I think that’s a common mindset that you’re conditioned to have from a young age.
I’m now happily married, but it didn’t happen the way my younger self had imagined. It went more like this: I met Matt (my husband) at work (kinda taboo), dated for just about a year, moved into an. apartment together, lived in the apartment for another year, bought a house together (still not married), got engaged, and finally we got married! It’s not the traditional way of doing things, but it’s what worked for us. We’re so happy. And that’s why I’m here today to talk about why I think it’s important to live with your spouse before you say, “I Do!”
Moving Out Is Cheaper Than Divorce
Now I’m not saying you should move in with any guy/girl you meet off the street. However, if you’re in a committed relationship that you genuinely see going the distance, moving in together before you commit to a marriage license definitely has its benefits. For example, moving out is much cheaper than getting a divorce, and that sounds like a smart test run to me. It’s by no means ideal, however, breakups happen. It’s life.
It Will Prepare You For Marriage
You always hear people say that the first year of marriage is so tough. And maybe that’s because people wait to move in together until they have their marriage license in hand, and now they must adjust to this new life with their partner. Their whole relationship beforehand was perfect. They had no idea what their partner’s habits behind closed doors were. Sometimes living together isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It can shed a light on your partner that you’ve never seen before. And maybe it’s something you really don’t like. If that’s the case, it can cause many problems between the two of you. Problems that could have and should have been addressed far before you got married.
You’ll Get An Understanding Of How Responsibilities Will Be Shared
When you start living with your partner, there are a lot of things that need to be done to keep up a household. Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, yard work, and the list could go on and on. Figuring out how these responsibilities will be shared can take some time. Maybe you both hate grocery shopping, so you split it 50/50. Maybe you decide to take on the weeding around the house while his responsibility is mowing the grass and leaf clean up. However you divvy it up (and it definitely needs to be divvied up), it’s important that you’re both in agreeance. Of course, if you decide that you’ll take on the weeding, it doesn’t mean that your partner can’t help you and vice versa. It’s just a way to keep everything in your household running smoothly.
It helps with decision making
If you’ve ever planned a wedding before, you know that there are A LOT of stressful decisions that go into things. And while deciding on flowers might seem easy, it also sheds light on any communication issues you and your partner may have. When you’re living together, you are building a life together and making tons of decisions together. This not only preps you for wedding planning (if that’s where you eventually go), but for a life of decisions and communication together.
I’m not trying to say that you need to live together before you get married or your relationship won’t work out, I’m just giving my side of the story. Matt and I lived together before we tied the knot, and I genuinely feel like it has made our relationship stronger.
Best of luck, friends!
I agree with this 1,000,000 %!! I unfortunately earned the hard way, If I cold have just moved out and avoided a divorce. The silver lining is my beautiful son. Love this post!
Krystle Kotara Says
I completely agree! Although it sounds much more romantic to move in together and start a new life after the wedding, it is essential to know what it’ll be like living with the other person. It’s the best way to know if you’re compatible long term. Thanks for sharing this!
Do you know The Devotion System?
I’d like to try it on!
I disagree. Living together before marriage is not a wise thing to do – statistically and biblically. For those of us who choose to follow Jesus Christ, your secular advice to the impressionable, unchurched folks on such a sacred union of two lives before God is not a good thing. Why not use your platform to encourage others to follow the way of the Word and not the way of the world. If you’re not a follower of Christ, I encourage you to spend some time reading the bible and getting involve with a local church.