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Ask Amanda: My Parents Don’t Support My Decision
posted on April 22, 2016 | by Amanda Holstein
Question:
Hi Amanda!
I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I have pretty much no motivation to do anything anymore, not even to wake up in the morning. I used to have lots of things I loved to do (read, exercise, play piano), but now all these things just seem like a hassle. I spend all my time on my phone telling myself to get up and do something (like my homework), but I just can’t bring myself to do it. My grades have been getting a little lower but it hasn’t been a dramatic change. I really want to have the motivation to do the things I love, or at least used to love, and get back into the swing of things. I’ve been feeling like this for about a month or two and I just want to feel more motivated and inspired to be productive and happy.
Also, I have recently decided to become a vegetarian and my parents don’t really support my decision. This adds to my frustration a lot.
Thank you so much,
Melissa
Answer:
Hi Melissa!
It sounds like you are in a bit of a depression (don’t worry — it’s totally normal and everyone experiences it), and it sounds like it may be stemming from the situation with your parents. When you’re young and living with your parents, you may feel like you need your parents’ approval and support on every decision you make. As you grow up, you’ll learn that this is your life and only you can make these decisions. Not everyone is going to agree with them, but that’s totally fine and it doesn’t mean they love you any less. You are your own person, so it makes total sense that you won’t agree with everyone on everything all the time.
I think it’s important to accept the fact that they don’t support you being a vegetarian. They don’t need to approve of everything you do (as long as it’s not affecting you or them negatively) and if this is important to you, then you need to stick with it and feel confident in your decision. Know that they still love you and support you — they’re just looking out for you and probably want to make sure you are making healthy choices because they care about you.
I would say once you can accept the fact that you and your parents disagree on this, you’ll feel more free, less stressed, and even less depressed. It’s totally normal for something like this to affect your whole mood and weigh on you until it’s resolved — I am the same way! Talk to your parents about it and try to be okay with the idea that they may not agree with your choice.
I hope this helps my dear!
xo
Amanda
Erin Says
I totally agree that this could be depression related. Also- when I stopped eating meat I had depression symptoms (lack of energy and motivation) because I was iron deficient. Luckily, a multivitamin with iron was all I needed to bounce back. But that may be another thing to try/ask your doctor about.
XZz Says
My parents literally put meat in everything I ate when I tried to become vegetarian in high school. And they ridiculed/yelled at me everyday for this choice. Now I’m in my 20s and they still ridicule me for not eating me and try to force meat on me whenever possible.
I accept that this is something they don’t agree with. How do I get them to accept that I’m doing it despite their disagreement?
Amanda Says
Post authorGreat question! You can control the way you view and handle the situation, but you can’t control how your parents do, so I can see how this would be extremely difficult! Have you ever sat down and really talked through this with them? Asked them why they are so against it and tried to explain your perspective? Maybe you need to have a serious talk with them about the fact that you are now an adult and can make your own decisions, and while they may not agree with every choice you make, you need them to accept your choices so that you can get along and not have to deal with such judgement and drama when you’re together. I think it’s important that you chat about the bigger picture — about you being your own person now and that you may not make the “right” choices in their minds but they are yours to make and learn from. Good luck! :)
Josephine Anane Says
Hi my name is Jossy,23 years of age,I am living in in my sister’s place who has travelled for a 3 year work trip. My childhood girlfriend needs work to do to save and go to college but for now needs accommodation. I asked her to join me since I’m all alone. My mum and sister disapproved, how do I convince them to accept my decision to help my friend