5 More Things No One Tells You About Life After College
posted on May 2, 2016 | by Amanda Holstein
If my post last week on 5 Things No One Tells You About Life After College made you feel a bit better about graduating (or life in general), then today’s should be right up your alley :). I feel like I’m constantly learning new things about myself and about life, particularly since graduating from college. If you noticed from last week’s post, my dad actually left a comment about how it’s difficult to truly understand these life lessons until you’ve experienced them for yourself, and he’s totally right. So if some of these don’t resonate with you quite yet, don’t worry. Keep them in the back of your mind and one day, they’ll come in handy :).
1. Feeling down or sad is not a bad thing; it’s part of life.
When you’re feeling sad or thinking negatively, our society judges you and teaches you to get out of that as quickly as possible. But what’s so bad about being sad? It’s not an enjoyable emotion, but it is a natural one that is unavoidable. So instead of judging yourself when you’re feeling down, let yourself feel what you’re feeling and accept that being sad is just something you’re going to experience from time to time.
2. There are no wrong decisions.
We often struggle when making a big decision, or any decision for that matter, because we’re afraid to make the “wrong” one. Well, let me break the news and tell you, there are no wrong decisions. Decisions are not permanent steps in one particular direction. You can make a decision, see where it takes you, and change things if you don’t like where it’s going. But you learn something from every decision you make, whether you’re happy with the result of that decision or not, and you can always change your situation.
3. Learn to be your own support system.
It took me a while to realize just how harsh I was on myself. I was constantly making judgements when I was trying to make a tough decision, going through a hard time, feeling sad for no reason, or even during good times like getting a promotion (asking myself if I was deserving, etc.). But you are the one person that will 100% be with you through everything, so you need to learn to support yourself and be your own cheerleader. You’d be surprised how much you can help yourself through tough times when you stop judging yourself and start supporting yourself, like you would any other love one, instead!
4. Everything you are experiencing, thinking, or questioning is normal.
Having trouble making friends after college? Hating your job? Feeling insecure? Whatever you are feeling, thinking or experiencing, I can promise you that you are not alone. There is someone else out there who has thought or felt the same way. So next time you ask yourself, “Is this normal?”, know that yes, yes it is. You are totally “normal”.
5. There are no rules; no right way to think or feel.
My favorite lesson that I’ve learned during life after college, and something I repeat to myself throughout the day, is that there are no rules in life. You may think you “should” act a certain way or “should” feel a certain response to something, but the truth is, there is no rule book out there with a list of what’s right and what’s wrong. There is no right way to act or feel. As long as you listen to your heart and do what feels right to you, then you’re doing “the right thing”.
What are some life lessons you’ve learned since college?
Amanda Machell Says
I’m beginning to think everyone feels a little lost forever. My mom who’s in her 50s admitted to me last year that she still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she’s a grown up. I think the uncertainty of adulthood is endless if we’re all honest. I love reading these posts because it makes me feel not totally alone in this 20 something age of confusion. I’m currently reading a small book that’s extremely helpful in finding a little more peace about it all.
‘You are Here’ by Thich Nhat Hanh
Thanks for the post!
-Amanda Machell
http://SimpleBoho.WordPress.com
Megan Says
Love love love! #1 was definitely a transition for me after college. I am by nature pretty peppy and positive but becoming and adult, especially that first year out of college, is full of challenges!
Have a wonderful Monday, Amanda!
http://lifeplusbe.com/
Ashley Says
So glad I stumbled upon this—I graduated yesterday! Thanks for the wonderful advice!
Ashley | Sunday Brunch
colleen wilshire Says
oh my goodness, so many lessons i’ve learned after graduating! perhaps the most important one is that it’s ok if you dont end up doing what you expected to do. i have a degree in psychology and my jobs are in marketing and with a food blogger.
it’s for sure not what i expected it to be, but that’s ok! i’m happier now than i’m sure i would be if i went on to pursue psychology.
i love this post. there is so much importance in the few months after college sorting things out and figuring out what to do next. everyone does it differently.
Emily @ Em Writes Says
It’s so important to be able to be your own support system. When all else fails, you will always have yourself to rely on!
Hillary Says
Yes! I am so glad you addressed these issues and concerns that so many of our peers have after graduation — especially during Mental Health Week (in Canada, at least). :)
Evelyn Moren Says
I had to stop myself fro licking the screen they’re so pretty!
Farrah Says
All of this is so true. College left me even more confused and stressed out than before I went in. I thought I wanted to go down a certain path, but then I realized that I didn’t, then later on I realized that I wanted to go into an entirely different field, so in September I’m going to Grad School. It’s all a mess right now but I hope everything works out in the end.
nanne Says
ok, old lady advice forthcoming :). stay close with your college girlfriends. these are the women who you lived with, did stupid/fun/crazy/sentimental things with. they have you seen you at your best, your worst and every way in between.
i have many, many friends from all stages of my life–dear work friends, early adulthood friends, mom friends who are second moms to my children & are family to me. but there is nothing like those college friends. thirty years out of college & my inner circle of friends and i are just as close as we were back in the day. maybe more so. we are scattered across the country but stay in daily touch through groupme & make it a point to get together at the very least once a year. we lost one of us to breast cancer a couple of years ago and now hold each other even closer.
get out & make new friends but make the effort to stay in touch with those old ones. and enjoy your twenties! such a scary but exciting & exhilarating time!!
Amanda Clarke Says
I am afraid to think about what will happen after graduation.
“There is no wrong choice” – it would be good if my brain realized it and did not panic when thinking about what I want to do. The fear to make a mistake does not give me peace of mind.
So far an important lesson for me is that only you are responsible for your success or failure. This does not apply to graduation but rather to college studying but I think it works even after.
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