So you’ve been on hundreds of dates, good and bad, and finally found a great guy you want to commit to. What happens next? It’s one thing to be in a relationship — it’s another to be in a happy one. I think we all want to know what it is that makes a relationship last, so I decided think about my own experiences and see if I’ve learned what makes a couple truly happy.
1. They thank each other
“Thank you” is a simple phrase that I never really realized meant so much. My boyfriend (yes, that’s him in the photos!) is amazing at saying “thank you”, even for the smallest things. Whether I bring him a glass of water or tell him how handsome he is, he always says “thank you” and it makes me feel so appreciated. And it goes both ways. He’ll do things that he thinks are totally standard for a boyfriend and he has no idea how sweet and generous they are, so I make sure to thank him every time.
2. They don’t place blame
This really applies to any kind of relationship, but placing blame can create a negative atmosphere, which is why I try to avoid it as much as possible. I think it’s important to always remain on each others’ team — that doesn’t mean you need to agree with each other all the time, but that you treat each other like a teammate rather than an opponent. That way, when the inevitable argument or fight comes about, you can handle it together as opposed to against each other.
3. They plan special time together, outside of everyday life
It’s easy to get into a routine with your partner, especially when you live together. But I think it’s important to recognize that your time together on the couch or getting groceries is not the same as that special time together where you really get to connect. You may see each other all the time, but actually carving out time where you truly connect is super important. For us, that’s going on a hike or having a movie night (Step Brothers is a reoccurring favorite). We’ll grab some popcorn & candy and a bottle of Seven Daughters wine, snuggle together in bed, and half watch the movie/half talk and be silly together.
4. They speak their mind in the moment
Voicing your thoughts in the moment is essential for not only avoiding pent up anger, but for making sure you express the good as well. I try my best to say in the moment if something is bothering me so that it doesn’t build up into something larger later on (I’ve definitely done that in past relationships!). I also think it’s easy to be proud of your partner for doing great at work, for example, but its another to express it. Speaking your mind doesn’t just apply to the negative thoughts, but to the positive ones as well.
5. They give each other space
Giving each other space is just as important as spending special time together. We all need our alone time and it’s okay to ask for it or express when you just need a night in by yourself. Giving each other that space also shows a sense of respect that I think is very important in a happy relationship as well.
6. They FaceTime
I’m not gonna lie, my boyfriend and I FaceTime everyday. Yes, we do live in the same city, but there’s something about seeing each other face to face when he calls after work or I call before bed that truly helps strengthen our connection. Seriously, give it a try and you’d be surprised at the difference it makes!
7. They express their love daily
Whether it’s through doing something thoughtful or saying something nice, expressing your love for each other is SO important. I don’t necessarily mean you need to be saying “I love you” every four seconds, but I think doing or saying things that show your love, everyday, is a must for a happy relationship.
// Thank you to Seven Daughters Wine for sponsoring this post.
And thank you for supporting the brands who support this blog.