Ask Amanda

Ask Amanda: How to Overcome Fear That’s Holding You Back

posted on September 1, 2017 | by Amanda Holstein

Question:

Hi Amanda,

How do you overcome that fear that always tries to hold you back when you strongly want to pursue something you’re passionate about?

– Jess

Answer:

Hi Jess!

What a wonderful question. First, I just want to commend you for hearing that voice inside of you that wants to pursue that passion. Recognizing what you want is a huge step!

Now, how to get past that fear that holds you back is going to be different for everyone, but here is what I would do.

First, I’d ask myself why I’m afraid. I actually went through a similar experience right before I decided to go full-time with my blog. For years I said that was never my plan, but then I realized I was just scared to do it. Once I finally asked myself what I was afraid of, the answer was failure. Growing up, career and success were always super important. I was so afraid that if I failed at going full-time with my blog, that meant that I was a failure. I was defining my self-worth by my career, and we know your career isn’t everything.

So first, ask yourself why you’re afraid. What’s the worst that could happen? Are you afraid to fail? Afraid of what others might think? Afraid it won’t work out how you think? Ask yourself these tough questions and be honest with your answers. Once you figure out the reason, dig a little deeper.

For example, once I realized I was afraid to fail, I thought about what that would look like. If I couldn’t make my blog work, that didn’t mean I was a failure of a person. It might mean I failed at something, but that doesn’t have to define me as a person. Even if it didn’t work out, it would be my choice how I wanted to look at it. I could look at it as a failure, or as an experience that taught me a ton and brought me to my next place in life. Once you work through the reasons why you’re afraid and really talk through them, you may start to realize that those reasons aren’t entirely valid.

What really pushed me to overcome that fear to pursue my passion was regretting never taking that chance. The thought of having regrets about giving it a try scared me way more than actually giving it a try. That’s what really pushed me to get through that fear!

One last thing—remember this: there are no wrong decisions. As long as you are listening to your gut and making your decision based on what your body/soul/heart/whatever is telling you, then it’s the right decision. It may not work out exactly how you think it will, but it will teach you something, and eventually lead you to the right place.

I hope this helps, my dear! Good luck!

xoxo
Amanda