Ask AmandaDating & Relationships

Ask Amanda: Tips for Online Dating

posted on June 26, 2015 | by Amanda Holstein

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Question:

I am seeking advice for online dating. I’ve recently moved to a new city at the end of January (along with a new job) and things have been going great! I love my job, coworkers, living situation, city, and I could keep going. But I recently decided to sign up for online dating because a lot of the people I am meeting are all much older than me.

I guess my question for you would be what kind of advice do you have when it comes to online dating? It is worth it? How do I initiate convo without sounding like a creep? Should I still expect a guy to ask me out or could this be reversed in the online world? Any advice would be totally helpful :).

Answer:

I definitely encourage online dating. Why not? Just make sure you choose your sites/apps wisely. You can tell some can be a bit lower quality than others, so do your research to find one that suites you best. I actually met my boyfriend on the app Hinge — it connects you to friends of friends using your Facebook contacts. I like that aspect because the people they show you are already somewhat in your network and in your world.

When it comes to initiating conversation, do what you feel comfortable with. The biggest difference between online dating and real life dating is the screen between you, so it may allow you to be more courageous, which is certainly not a bad thing. Use that to your advantage and don’t be afraid to make the first move! Try out different approaches and see what feels right to you. The worst that happens is they don’t respond, right? So go for it!

If you’re ready to initiate conversation, but aren’t sure how, here’s what I recommend. Take a look at their profile and see if there’s a question you want to ask about something they said or a photo they put up. Don’t try too hard to come up with the most witty thing you can think of — just say what comes naturally. If you’ve been talking for a while and you want to go on a date but don’t want to be the one to ask, I suggest turning the convo towards what neighborhoods you live in and bars/coffee shops you like. That can sort of lead the way to an invite :).

The most important thing is to be yourself, don’t try too hard, and don’t let yourself get frustrated if it takes some time. Finding someone special is difficult no matter what — if they’re special, they should be hard to find!

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