3 Self-Discovery Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Feeling Stuck In Life
posted on February 26, 2019 | by Becky Bush
Have you ever felt stuck in your twenties? Maybe you’re sitting at your 9-5 every day counting down the minutes to happy hour. Or you aren’t passionate about your job, staring at social media wishing you could be doing anything else.
I’ve definitely had this feeling. Not only do the constant images of my peer’s highlight reels make me feel like my mundane moments are the only ones, but I have this morphed image that work shouldn’t feel like “work”. So the hard moments feel isolated in a sea of smiles and likes.
I will say, regardless of what you do in your 9-5, feeling confused is normal in your twenties. You have likely never done something for eight hours a day (school in college wasn’t even this long!). It’s also hard to predict what a job will be like until you actually do it!
Figuring out what your next move should be, or even what you like to do can be challenging. Remember that there are SO many jobs out there and you will find one you love. You just need to dig deep (maybe a little journaling?!) and embark on a self-discovery journey. Have you ever thought about who negotiates product placements in movies? Or who critiques restaurants?! There is a job for everyone.
If you are feeling stuck – ask yourself these three questions.
What gives me energy?
When you’ve had the hardest of days, what do you crave doing? Being around people? Being alone? Reading? Writing? Think about what gives you energy when you need it the most.
For me, I get energy from my friends. I absolutely love being social and can feel any problem slide away with a good laugh from girls.
That being said, not everyone gets their energy from being social. It’s important to understand what fills you up. Knowing that because work is well, work, at times it will be stressful.
What do I get lost in doing?
Is there anything that you do, for work or not, that time literally flies by? You get so lost in doing it, you don’t check your phone or watch TV. Think about what that is. For me, it’s writing (that’s why I’m here!). I can write for hours and not even know the amount of time that goes by. There’s something about telling a story that does it for me.
Because I love being social AND writing, I had to find a way to balance my days so I could do both.
Try and discover what this is for you. Think about the qualities of this activity. Is it active? Outdoors? Indoors?
If you don’t have something, try a few new things to see if you can get “lost” in anything. If so, write down a few qualities of what this is so you can find some jobs and activities like it.
How can I get to know more about these types of jobs?
You will never know what you want to do, or even what’s out there, without networking. It’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Once you’ve answered these first two questions, reach out to a few people (even if you don’t know them!).
Ask them to chat. Ask them about their day to day. Is this something you could see yourself doing day in and day out?
If so, start to read job descriptions. Find out the qualifications needed to make what you love your career. I promise it’s right around the corner.
Getting “unstuck” is not an easy task – especially in your twenties. Don’t forget to give yourself some self-love along the way, your twenties are confusing by nature. There’s so much to figure out that it can only help to start to discover what you love to do.
What did you discover from these questions? Comment below!
Michelle Lee Says
Great post, I think you resonate with a lot of people struggling with this and give them a launch pad to spring from. If I may, I am also going to recommend one more thing. Empowerment. This was my biggest struggle (confession, I’ve since crossed over from the twenties), I digress….. confidence and knowing MY brond, MY strengths and how to play off of them was a struggle for me! I did some work on this and one of my favorite tools so far is the book Defining You, by Fiona Murden. She will pull your strengths out of you, in a simple and tangible way. This book requires some effort — but honestly, not much. Either way, it’s 100% worth it. Check out her bio, I found it here. http://www.fionamurden.com. Thank you again for your post!
Chanelle Hunter Says
This is a really great post. Most of the time when I read something about “being stuck,” I read advice on how you should follow your passion and not let anything stop you. There’s nothing wrong with that kind of advice, but it has been said so many times before that it has begun to lose meaning in my mind. It’s really important to sit back and reflect on your life by asking yourself these types of questions. I think we often forget, in our twenties, that no one is going to push us anymore. We have to push ourselves.
I’m 21 now and your 3 questions made me think about what I want to do after I finish university next year. I like how you touch on energy and not just about what people like to do. Just like relationships with people, I think there’s a strong connection that’s found when you are doing something you’re really passionate about. For me, I’ve been a taekwondo athlete for a majority of my life and it’s something that I can’t imagine myself without. This post just reminded me that I don’t necessarily need to give it up once I get into the “real world.” I just have to find a way to fit it into the next phase of my life.
Wonderful post! Thanks!
Do not be upset if it seems to you that you are stuck in place and nothing is happening in your life. The main thing is to realize this in time and work with this problem. Always start with introspection of yourself, and the psyculator site will help you with this.